LincolnshireLass

Today has been a good day!

Started the day picking up my new to me car which felt good to finally get it all sorted, was sad to say goodbye to my old car despite it causing me lots of grief & money I’ve loved driving it.

I came straight home from the garage and cracked on with a couple of hours of work.

Often on a Saturday, I have clear plan of the day and what I want to achieve. The last few months I’ve not had this clear plan and found that the day has run away with me and by the end of it I’ve felt annoyed and that I’ve wasted the day.

My plan was to pick up car – TICK, do a couple hours work – TICK, do some housework – TICK, spend some time reflecting on the last few weeks and see what you can change going forward – TICK!!

Now I’m starting to feel more like my old self I can feel my laser focus for my goals coming back, like I’ve said before when I get my head in the game there is no stopping me! Watch out world…

While reflecting today, I also added more details as to what I want the results of this transformation to be and how I want my life to look! This won’t be set in stone but having clear goals helps to make achieving them easier!

It’s a late to bed for me tonight as I’ve been watching the US Open Tennis final and the amazing Emma Raducanu win the match in straight sets. If I could have 1% of her self believe and winning mindset I’d be in such a different place. This is definitely an area I need to work on.

Another busy day today at the uni, skipped the gym again this morning to do some work! After this weekend I am planning on getting my routine back, these last few weeks have been trying to say the least but I now feel like I’m emerging from the funk I’ve been carrying around with me and feeling motivated to get back on it.

This week has been a crazy one for hours worked, however, I finished the normal working week in paradise as a friend and I went to the lake we usually swim at on a Sunday for a dusk to darkness swim, I don’t think I’ve ever been so grateful to be in that water than I was this evening. I did 3 very slow laps of the 200m circuit and relished every single minute, it felt so cathartic and freeing to be in the water as the sun was setting and had time with my own thoughts without distraction or interruption.

I am a real believer that the things that are hard in life are there for a reason, to teach you a lesson or give you insight about yourself which you can take forward for future experiences and become a better person for it. Tomorrow I plan to take some time to reflect on the last few weeks to see what I can learn and take forward for this transformation.

Today has all been about getting my head down and working, a full on day at the Uni and did 2 hours before and 2 hours after for a client.

In all honesty I do love days like this as it gives me purpose and I love being able to share my knowledge and help others to develop themselves or their business and that’s what makes the world go around.

Managed to meditate this morning but no gym again today. The vitamin supplements seem to have started to have an effect as my sleep is a little better and I feel like I’ve got more energy generally which is great! These might be placebo effects but does that really matter if I’m getting benefit from them!?

I’ve finally sorted out a new car and will be picking it up on Saturday as I say goodbye to my old one. This is a big weight off my mind as the car saga has been going on for over a year now with numerous problems with it so will be good to have a car that I can rely on. It’s the car I normally wouldn’t have chosen for various reasons but it will do for the next couple of years and know that I’m lucky that I can get a replacement.

I am hoping that the coming weekend I can start to get back to focusing on this transformation as feel like it has definitely slipped down the priority list which doesn’t sit right with me as, as much as I know I’ve still got 11 months to go I know that time just goes so fast if you allow it too and I don’t want to still be saying the same things in a few months time…

Not a lot to report today as it was wall to wall work, I was supposed to go to the gym but woke up exhausted and the workout had running in it!

Usually I will do the workout no matter what it is and suck it up if there are movements I don’t like or not very good at as I know the only way I’ll get better at them is to keep practicing them.

However, for a few months I’ve been struggling with an achy sore right knee and then I ran I got shooting pains up the front of my leg above me knee so have done no running since then and now it’s like of a brain fuck for me as I know that I need to get my running shoe on again and do some running just to see how it feels to know if I need to get it looked at further but I find every reason imaginable to not do it, this is especially hard as 2019/2020 Rachel would have loved the workout today as it was it was a long slog of a workout with a lot of cardio and little skill work!! My favourite kind of workout, one I can just get my head down and plough through it but not having that much confidence in my running I bottled it!!

Within an hour of cancelling I was pissed off with myself for not going and by this time it was too late to go – I really need to give myself a fucking good talking to right now as I know I’m heading away from my goals with my current attitude.

The only win today is that I managed to take all my supplements at the right time so am hoping that they will have a positive effect on my energy & mood and help get me out of this funk I’m in right now.

Today has been a full on kind of day with work but had two hours in the car to think about stuff. I realised that when my head in the game I’m on it and I’m focused, determined and make thing happen.

I just need to figure out right now how to get my head in the game…

A friend has kindly offered to do some brain dumping with me. This phase might be new to you but I’ve used it often with clients and groups before and it’s as simple just getting everything that is going on in your head out of your head onto paper/screen. Most of the time I do it with a big piece of paper and sharpies and as my client is speaking I’m making notes. Once its all out on paper it’s a case of discussing it, sorting it out etc and working out a plan. So this is something I’m going to do, not sure when but as soon as we can fit it in really.

My supplements I ordered arrived today so will start taking them tomorrow and will see if they make a difference. I’m going to log my mood and energy levels each day as a way of measuring their impact.

I am also going to delete a number of social media apps off my phone, I know I’m guilty of mindlessly scrolling through them and not making the most of my time and then get annoyed with myself that I “don’t have time” to do the things that I know will help me move forward mainly because I’ve wasted time on social media with little or no benefit to myself. I might even consider deleting my accounts on these platforms too but that’s a thought for another day.

Again today I prioritised work over exercise as having deadline looming and being behind does make me feel rubbish, it is constantly on my mind that I should be working when I’m doing anything else.

It’s a nice position to be in so I’m going with it and know that it might be short-lived so as they say “Make hay while the sun shines”.

However, I do need to find some balance in there so I don’t burn out be no good to anyone!! Last year I did something called #75Hard which is about mindset and am tempted to do it again now to try to get me into some kind of pattern of activity. Probably won’t start it again until 1st October just to give me some time to think about it as it’s quite a big commitment and don’t want to start something and not finish it as know this will knock my confidence.

As I was scrolling through Instagram today this popped up on my feed.

I like to read these things when I see them as I do believe that “the universe” has a way of trying to give you messages/signs when you need to see them.

This one really rang true today, I do feel like that is a shift happening! From these posts it probably doesn’t sound like it but I know that I will find a way through it all and a way that works for me & my lifestyle.

Do you look out for messages/signs?

Today has been a bit sucky if I’m honest!

I went to the gym first thing for a workout, on Sunday I do my own thing at the gym, this usually is mainly cardio with some weights thrown in for good measure.

After the workout I tend to change into my swim stuff at the gym as the lake still requires you to come “swim ready” rather than changing there. When I get changed at the gym I take the opportunity to weigh myself.

I usually take the figure on the scales with a pinch of salt as it’s one of many measures you can use to indicate good health and can fluctuate so much depending on many factors, however, when I stood on the scales today the figure shocked me as in the last 2 weeks I have put on 2kg, not a lot of weight but not the way I want things to go! And I know that I need to be kind to myself as I have had a cold and been working lots but still it makes me sad that I have worked so hard over the years to get fit and healthy and now it seems like I’m going backwards.

This has played on my mind for the rest of the day, even taking the edge off the lovely but cold swim I had after the gym.

I don’t want to get too caught up in the weight thing but knowing what I know I need to sort this out sharpish if I’m going to achieve my goal of being the healthiest I can be by the time I reach 45 next July.

Time to take a cold hard look at my lifestyle choices and make some tough but needed changes. One of these is alcohol! I don’t really drink that much or so I think as managed to drink a bottle of white wine over two days this weekend. I don’t ever feel the NEED to drink, just sometimes I feel like having a drink. But know that if I drink my sleep is worse, I don’t feel so alert the next day and often I bin off my workout too so think I’m going to stop drinking for a few months to see if I can get back on the right track with my fitness.

A phase I often say to myself when I’m waivering about something is: DON’T LET YOUR EXCUSES BE BIGGER THAN YOU GOAL.

I need to keep remembering this!

Today I’ve felt really conflicted, I’m not quite sure why just that nagging feeling you get sometimes.

I got up as normal, fed the cat, meditated and went to intervals. As per my usual routine I then went for shopping and was home by 9am! No shoplifting incidences today!!

Had some coffee, had some breakfast and did some dishes.

I then had to decide if I do some gardening or do work for the business!! Usually on a Saturday I don’t do work work as I just can’t get my head into it and see it as a day off but at the moment I am so behind I felt that it needed to be done, the garden also needs my time too. Then there is part of me who knows that I need to take some “me time” to work on some of the areas that I’ve mentioned in previous post and mindset stuff!!

I’ve ordered some supplements today to see if they will help with my energy levels. As a nutritionist I very much advocate that we should get most of our vitamins and minerals from our food but sometimes it’s useful to top up our diet with supplements if possible.

In the end I did some work work for a few hours which felt good to make inroads into the list of tasks.

I cooked myself some beef fajitas for tea and have had a relaxing evening. However, that nagging feeling is still raging in my head.

I am booked to do an open water swim session so am hoping that it will help rebalance my brain.

Today has been a real mixed bag of emotions. I had planned to go to the gym this morning, then straight to the uni, but when I got up I decided to skip the gym and do a couple of hours work for the business before I went to the uni to do a day there.

I am feeling a little anxious about how behind I am with my own client work with the business at the moment, can’t be helped as I was below par last week but ultimately the work still needs to be done so pulling some 12 hour days will be needed.

Getting back into the exercise routine is proving tricky mainly because of the above and me having to make tough choices about how I use my time. This has been made even more prominent as in the last week I’ve managed to bust 3 zips in trousers/jeans because of my fat arse & thighs.

I had a small wobble while at work as imposter syndrome reared it’s head and the tears came, thankfully I was in the office on my own so could have a moment! I must come across as an emotional wreck some days!!

I seem to have so much going on in my head right now that I just don’t feel very present. I even managed to leave a shop today without paying for my groceries! Thankfully the lady noticed and stopped me before I got outside & I went back to pay, this was totally unintentional but a little embarrassing to say the least.

It might be the weekend tomorrow, however, I’ve got a whole weekend of working and gardening so not sure when I’ll get some space to download my brain so to speak but will need to do it soon as feel I might cause myself or others an injury by not being present!