49 years and counting

Today is my 49th birthday! Happy Birthday Me!!

As an adult I’ve always struggled a bit with my birthday, there are a few reasons for this, I won’t go into detail about these reasons as they are quite personal and I’m working with a therapist to work through some of baggage from my past.

Today, I am going to go out and celebrate my birthday with a friend and a M&S picky bits tea! I know how to life!!

Anyway, this post isn’t about this year’s birthday, it’s about next year’s when I turn the big 50! I still can’t quite believe that I will reach that milestone in 365 days, this is despite having 3 older sisters who have past it many years ago so it’s my turn next.

I haven’t quite decided what I’m going to do to mark this occasion in terms of celebrations, however, I have decided that I want to mark it by doing two things that gives back to the world, it is such a privilege to get to the grand old age of 50 in good health as many people don’t and I have friends who haven’t.

Both of the projects below are in the early phases but I am hoping both will be achieved by the 30th July 2027.

The first one is called 50 pints for 50 years and the idea is to get 50 people to either start giving blood or return to giving blood! A bit random you might think but it’d something I’ve done regularly for over 15 years and recently I gave my 56th pint and wonder why more people don’t do it, only 2% of eligible people in the UK give blood regularly.

For me giving blood is one of the most selfless acts you can do, you give up 3 hours of your year (4 hours if you are male) to save countless people’s lives. We never know when we might be the recipient of donated blood so why not give when you can.

I am looking into seeing if I arrange a donation session at the university I work at to help towards the cause, I need to contact NHS Blood to find out more about this and will keep you posted on this blog on my progress.

The other project I am naming 50 at 50, this one is a charity fundraising project that I’ve had in my head for a couple of years and now that I’m turning 50 it is time to make it happen.

I live in Lincolnshire and going to the coast is always a favourite thing to do as we are blessed with beautiful golden sandy beaches all along the coastlines. My idea is to walk from The Humber to The Wash – the full coastline of Greater Lincolnshire along the beach. When I researched it a few years ago it seemed to be 50 miles give or take a few yards so to me a perfect thing to do to mark your 50th birthday.

At the moment I am in the feasibility stage to see if it is even possible to do, physically, with training I am confident I could either do it in a day or two days, logistically I’m less confident and know that I will have to ask for help from friends/contacts to make it happen, the main element that might be an issue that there is a MOD firing range for part of the route, EEKK! Also I am not sure if I can walk on the beach for the whole route due to tides etc. Lots of things to investigate but I am hoping it can be done.

In terms of charities I want to support from doing this walk is the RNLI (Royal National Lifeboat Institute), again you never know when you might need help when at the coast/along the Thames and this charity receives no government funding, all running costs are met by charity donations.

I have fond memories of seeing the crews going in and out at Little Haven on the Pembrokeshire coast, as a family we used to go down to Little Haven regularly as we lived close by, I spent many a happy day with my sisters round around this beach and thankfully never needed to use the service. Now as a keen cold water swimmer and a novice Stand-Up Paddle Boarder I want to support this charity to do vital work and save lives as one day I might need to call them to help me out.

The other charity I will be raising funds for is LIVES (Lincolnshire’s Integrated Voluntary Emergency Service). For those who don’t know Lincolnshire is a very large rural county so this service helps support the NHS in giving emergency care around the county when you are miles away from hospitals.

I appreciate there is a theme to all this activity – saving lives and giving support to organisations who are there for us when we are at our worst/need help. I feel in a lucky position that I can do things during this year to help others. I’ve always had a deep sense of giving back when you can so this is my time to do something a little more than I normally would.

Anyway, I’m putting it out there and see what comes of it…as they say WATCH THIS SPACE…

PS: if can you help me with either of these challenges, then get it touch :0) xx

I’m back!

It has been 23 months since my last post.

I stopped doing my monthly posts as I felt like I had nothing new to say and was struggling to say anything at all really.

In the last 23 months so many things have changed. yet so many things have stayed the same.

Currently, I am feeling like I want to resurrect this blog and start posting regularly again, it’s strange as I was starting to think about doing this a couple of people actually asked me about this blog and when was I going to start writing it again.

Originally I started to write this blog as a way downloading my constantly racing brain and found it quite cathartic to share my life & all of what it brought to my door, however in doing so, some of what I wrote resonated with others too. I didn’t do it for views or follows but if what I write helps someone else to feel less alone, then happy days.

Not much to say for now but in the coming months I will fill you in and take you with me as I head on into my 50s! Eeekk, how the hell that happen…

July 2024 – Anticipation

Firstly, back to the menopause stuff! As I mentioned in June, I went to the doctors to see what support they could give me. Well lets just say that the experience was appalling! So, I explained all about the symptoms I was getting and the young female doctor (the reason I added these details as I was hoping she might be switched on to menopause) said there were 3 options:

1: Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) – Said that I was too young for this and as my periods were still regular it wasn’t suitable – this is utter garbage! I’m not too young at 46 and regular periods are irrelevant as my hormones still fluctuate during the month.

2: The natural route – Sent me a link to a website which supports menopause symptoms naturally! She asked me what I did as a job and when I said I was a nutritionist, her reply was “Well you look like the health type!” whatever the f*ck that means! I am all for taking the natural approach and reading the information on said website, I am pretty much doing as much as I can naturally (hence going to the doctor), I make sure I eat well, I move regularly, I generally get at least 7 hours of sleep a night, I drink plenty of fluids and even though I have adjusted my diet slightly and reviewed my nutritional supplements I felt I needed more support.

3: Take Antidepressants – I baulked at this as I said I wasn’t depressed, I think there is a time and place to take antidepressants when they are seriously needed but having one week a month where I feel useless is not the time or the place, she added that the specific antidepressant she is recommending also helps with night sweats! I had mentioned that I was getting these but not enough to warrant taking medication and they weren’t causing me much issue!

So as you can imagine I left the surgery a bit disheartened and since then, speaking to others this seems like a common theme and that in reality, I’ll have to do my own research/experimentation to find what works best for me. I feel so lucky that with my knowledge I can do this as it would be what I would do for my clients but I feel so sorry for other people who do not have the knowledge to help themselves!

Anyway, back to July! Apart from the above, I spent most of the month with travel anxiety! For the past 18 months, I had been planning a trip to Paris to watch the Olympics and finally, it was time for the trip, these days I am really a home bird, I love being at home, and not really travelling that far. Notwithstanding the pandemic, it’s been probably over a decade since I left the UK so my travel anxiety was really kicking in, thankfully, I had asked a friend to come with me who is a seasoned traveller and she was able to allay most of the things I was stressing about.

The day before we travelled, I’d packed the cats off to the cattery, which was hard as I think both thought I might be giving them back so were meowing constantly in the car, this broke my heart so there were tears!!

Then there was news that train lines in France had been damaged due to sabotage and that the Eurostar were cancelling trains! Just what I need, speaking to my friend we decided to head to St Pancreas in the morning anyway and see what happens. I was getting the first train I could from my local station and when I got there, there was a notification saying that due to staff shortages, this train was delayed giving no time of arrival at the station I was at, as you can imagine my stress-levels were sky-high at this point as I knew I had a small window of time to get from KingsCross station to the Eurostar terminal. Eventually, the train arrived and as we zoomed through the country to London, it turned out it would leave me just 10 minutes to get to the terminal before the gate closed! OMG, I thought to myself this is why I don’t travel much, I was extremely anxious and felt like crying but I managed to hold it together and got to the gate with just 2 minutes to spare – YES I made it!

We were lucky as the train before and after ours were cancelled so we headed to France with a sigh of relief. As the sabotage had damaged train lines we had to go slowly during the journey, which meant we arrived in Paris 90 minutes later than planned, however, this was fortuitous as it meant we fell upon the cycling time trial, we arrived about 10 minutes after it started, so despite the rain we stood and watched (who doesn’t love watching free sport!!). A little bit soggy, we headed to our Air BnB to dry off and rest!

The following day, the rain clouds had vanished and we had glorious sunshine to watch the rowing, this was the early stages of the competition so we didn’t see any medal races but we did get to see some GB&NI rowers which was cool and just to ensure the atmosphere.

Once the rowing was over, we headed back into the city to visit The Louvre which my friend treated me to, I never knew how big it was so before wandering around aimlessly, we grabbed a map to decide which exhibitions we wanted to see (including the Mona Lisa of course).

After that, we found a beautiful cafe for some food and again my friend treated me to the meal as a birthday present! It was utterly delicious and great company too!

My friend was only able to stay a couple of days with me as she had work commitments, so her final day was spent watching the rugby sevens at Stade de France, what a stadium and the atmosphere again was electric! My friend had to leave just before the end of the session to catch her train home but she kindly left me lots of instructions on how to get home on my own and how to get to the other places I wanted to go over the next few days.

My birthday! I had got tickets to the Canoe Slalom in the afternoon so decided in the morning I would treat myself to a glass of champagne for breakfast! I had done some research and found a rooftop bar, however, when I got there I was told that the bar (located in a hotel) was only open to residents before 4pm, ARGH!! Anyway, I quickly found another bar that was open and had a glass of champagne, the guy serving me did give me a strange look when I ordered but thanks to Google translate I explained it was my birthday and he brought me a few sweets to celebrate!! Not the view I had planned but lovely nonetheless.

The canoe slalom was at the same venue as the rowing so that was easy for me to get to, however, the temperature had soared to 33°C, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so hot in my life, I definitely got a dose of Vitamin D that afternoon, again the sport was amazing. After the session finished I headed back to the accommodation and had a bed picnic, I think I might have had a bit of sunstroke as I felt pretty rough and had an early night! A birthday to remember!

The next day I woke up surprisingly fresh considering how I felt when I went to bed and had a completely free day (I had planned to meet my parents (who live in France), however, my mum had broken her leg a few weeks before my trip and it was too much for her to travel). So after a gentle start of coffee and a croissant, I made my way to the Eiffel Tower, just to say I had seen it! I wandered around some more just taking in the whole atmosphere and enjoying not having to be anywhere in particular.

However, I did head back to the rooftop bar as the final activity before I travelled home the next day and I have to say the views were amazing, it was tinged with a bit of sadness that I was on my own & not able to enjoy the experience with someone else but also thankful that I am able to do these things despite the anxiety I had felt before travelling.

After a couple of glasses of wine, I headed back to the Air BnB to pack and that was July, over and out!

June 2024 – Menopause Madness

Dating carried on in June, and I spoke to a guy for a few weeks. We seemed to have a connection online, and I went on a few dates with this guy, which were lovely. However, I wasn’t feeling a physical connection with him, so sadly, I had to stop chatting. It felt horrible doing this, but I knew it was the right thing to do for both of us.

June was a bit of a crazy month with parents visiting, a trip to Swindon for a surprise meal for my mum’s 80th birthday, and lots going on with uni work, business meetings and networking events – all of which I would usually take in my stride, a little more full on than some months but nothing that I had not handled before.

However, in the past few months, I have been struggling mentally with a few things, including this blog, you will have noticed that I’ve not posted for ages and months behind with these monthly posts! My head as I put it has been like a shed (full of rubbish that is of no use to anyone!). I just lost all motivation to write it, felt like I was a broken record and wondering the point of it was.

These feelings finally came to a head one week/weekend when I felt completely useless. When a friend asked what was wrong I basically said “Everything and nothing”, it was a strange thing to say maybe but that’s all I could think of saying as at the time I had no reason to feel like I was but also felt like I have every reason to feel useless. For months I have been having irrational thoughts, the week before menstruation but in June they hit me hard one weekend. A few of these thoughts were:

  • I needed to give my cats back to the charity I rescued them from as I was good enough to be a pet owner and they were unhappy and would be happier with someone else.
  • I needed to resign from my job at the uni as I was failing at it and was going to be sacked anyway.
  • I needed to sell my house and buy a bungalow as my knees were so painful that could hardly walk up the stairs without bursting into tears.
  • I wasn’t safe to drive as my mind wasn’t present to be 100% focused on the road and other road users.

So the safest thing I thought to do was to stay at home all weekend, I just didn’t feel up for human interaction, not sure whether I could hold it together for long enough to have a conversation without bursting into tears.

Then there were days when I would just sit and sob, tears streaming down my face for no apparent reason at all, thankfully on these days I was working at home so I simply continued to work the best I could as I had deadlines to meet, other days, I was crying in my car on the way to uni if a certain song was played on the radio, the tears would dry as quickly as they came.

When I mentioned these thoughts to a couple of female colleagues at work the first thing they said was that I needed to go and see my doctor as these were definitely menopause related.

Despite menopause affecting 50% of the population and getting more air time in the media and social media, there is still a massive taboo around it as well as it being such an individual thing.

Being a nutritionist, I know quite a lot about the physical side of peri/menopause and understand how the body changes during this period but not that much about the impact it has on your mental health (I qualified 15 years ago and back then we had a few lessons around the menopause, this was mainly the physical changes). Yes, I’ve had friends go through menopause as well as family members but I’d not discussed it much with many people, it’s a tough one to bring up really.

I think I’ve been pretty lucky over the years with menstruation, having light periods, little to no period pains and mild PMT (I live on my own so harder to know if I was getting PMT), yes I was aware I got a little emotional each month but that had little effect on my day-to-day life. To suddenly get all these feelings was hard and also getting serious period pain (especially when I was exercising) and has hit me like a tonne of bricks.

I know that I need to embrace this period of my life, but also know that there is help out there to support me too! As you will know I’m the worst at asking for help, but I did book an appointment with my GP to see what support medically was available to me (will update you on this appointment in July’s post). I know what I can do naturally and have been doing this for years as it’s just my normal way of life in terms of eating well, exercising, bedtime routine and sleeping, alcohol intake etc but know that there is only so much this will support my body.

As well as embracing this new chapter there is also accepting that some things will never happen like becoming a mum (biologically anyway) and this is probably the hardest thing, as I write this I have tears in my eyes as it just makes me really sad, I’ve really not accepted it yet and not sure I ever will.

Despite all this going on, you kind of have to just keep carrying on, I have to say though, the guy I mentioned at the top of the blog was such a sweetheart when I was going through all this, I know that I’m very self-aware and honest about my feelings so told him as didn’t want him to think I was being strange if the tone of my messages changed. He was kind and gentle with me which was lovely to feel so supported by someone I hardly knew.

I’m not saying my friends haven’t been supported, they have/are, however, I initially didn’t tell them about what I was going through as didn’t realise what it was really!!

May 2024 – Into the Deep

The 100-day challenge continued into May as I felt I was now into a routine which was getting easier each day.

With feeling better in all senses of the word, I decided it was about time I bit the bullet and got back on the dating scene. A few months earlier I had slowly started to dabble in dating by investing a small amount of money in Pear, this is an ‘in real life’ dating thing. You basically pay for a colour-coded ring, which you wear with the idea being that if you see someone else wearing the same colour ring it gives you a reason to speak to them, great idea in theory, however, with Lincoln being quite a small city and me not really going out that much, I never met anyone wearing one of these rings. The other thing I found hard was that I felt embarrassed when people asked me about the ring, yes I could have just said it was a fashion choice but I’m just too honest for my own good sometimes.

I know I shouldn’t be embarrassed about either being single or dating but in reality I am, I feel like a failure, a weirdo or a freak and often wonder what is wrong with me! The truth is when I’m thinking rationally I know there is nothing wrong with me but I also know that over the 13 years, I have had other focuses and a lot of healing to do and still to do.

Anyway, I decided to go all in and downloaded numerous dating apps – Bumble, Match, Tinder! And invested my hard-earned pennies to get access to men who looked/liked my profile.

The other thing I find hard about online dating is that I am so much more than what I look like and a few words or random questions don’t give who I really am, yes it’s a snapshot but it feels so unauthentic & false.

From previous experiences, I know that online dating is pretty brutal, so it took me an enormous amount of grit to do it again. Firstly, I needed to pick some pictures, this was quite hard as in all honesty I don’t like how I look right now but I also wanted to post recent pictures. I managed to find a handful that I kind of liked. Thankfully, I’d saved the words for my profile from the last attempt at online dating so soon my profile was live…let the fun begin!!

To start it was quite slow and I didn’t get many matches and when I did they didn’t turn into anything with messages going unanswered or unmatched. I eventually started talking to a couple of guys and went on my 1st date in nearly 3.5 years!

The guy was nice, just not for me! One date down & was feeling good for diving back into it. Carried on talking to a few other people and a week later another date was arranged! Had a lovely time, chatted for over 3 hours, felt good and thought a 2nd date was in the bag, little did I know that 24 hours later I would be ghosted! Why do people do this? If you aren’t interested just say thanks & goodbye instead of just ghosting someone, don’t think I’ll ever get used to that. I was gutted as just found it rude and started to wonder how I didn’t pick up any signs that this would happen! I took a step back from the apps for a week or so to re-group and go again!

This also knocked me in terms of my 100-day challenge, which took a back seat for a few days, I did get back to it as I knew I had to focus on the positives and pick myself up.

By the end of the month, I was back on the apps and chatting to quite a few people, which proved quite challenging with juggling lots of conversations!

The one big takeaway I currently have from doing this again is that I’m not a troll or dull (as that’s how I felt), even though my friends tell me I’m beautiful and an interesting & successful person I find it hard to believe and my brains says they are just saying it to be nice & that it’s not really true (I know, I’m so horrible about myself – I am working on this). We don’t often get a chance to see ourselves from others’ eyes/perspective but the comments and messages I’ve received from guys have been a massive ego boast, I’ve been screen-grabbing these to keep for when I’m on a downer and thankfully I’ve not had any d*ck pics to date, there is still time though…

April 2024 – We go again

This has taken me an age to write and I know I’m currently 3 months behind with my monthly posts! I’ll explain more of the reason for this when I eventually write my July post. Anyway, back to April (which does seem so long ago now!).

Following on from March and a bit of a health scare the previous few months, on the 2nd April I embarked on doing another 100-day challenge, I knew deep down that I needed to put my health and wellbeing at the forefront of everything I do. This was mainly around consistent habits, which I struggle with the most – consistency. When I was younger I was able to commit to something and I just stuck at it, however, over the past few years despite knowing that doing things consistently is a good thing I just am not able to stick to doing things daily, half of me is thinking I’m setting myself up for a fail and the other half of my brain is saying you’ve done it before so you can do it again.

The 5 things I was committing to doing daily were:

  • Moving my body – having done something like this before, I nominated Tuesday as my rest day to avoid over-exercising!
  • Eating healthy – compared to most my diet is pretty good but I had let a few things slip so this was a kick up the arse to get it back to being great
  • Drinking more fluids – again I’m pretty good at this but again let it slip
  • Posting on social media for my businesses
  • Throw something out/recycle/donate

At the time, these were things I wanted to get on top of and create consistent habits and for the most part, I did really well with the first 3 things on the list, the social media posting dropped off pretty quickly (more about that in future posts) and the decluttering of the house was sporadic.

However, on the last point, I was just happy that I was making progress with decluttering my house and just one or two things moved from the house was a start.

Overall, April was a good month, work and the businesses ticked along nicely, I was feeling better by the day with moving my body, eating well and drinking more fluids, I was riding the waves so to speak and it felt fantastic…

Bring on May.

March 2024 – Wall to wall work

The decisions I made late last year and early this year came to fruition in March when I had a heavy workload which meant most other activities went out the window.

I worked for over 3 weeks straight without a day when I didn’t do some kind of work be this uni work (marking assignments) or Firecracker work. I know this is a really unhealthy balance of work and life but as I’ve said in previous blog posts sometimes I make decisions based on fear and then have to suffer the consequences and when I commit to doing anything, I give my everything to it.

The days blended into each other and I consistently did 14/15 hour days too, so by the time Easter came, I was completely and utterly empty and drained (Unsurprisingly).

The Easter weekend was emotional and I felt extremely lonely, I ended up doing two things on my own which just magnified these feelings as I felt very self-conscious that I was on my own when other people at the event were with their partner or other people. It highlighted that it’s nice to share experiences with others and left me thinking about how I do this in the future. I don’t want to stop doing things because I don’t have anyone to do it with but I think I’ll think carefully before I book stuff.

In my recent blogs, you’ll notice a complete absence of me talking about being active as this also took a backseat due to work but also, I’m still struggling with my knee and general fatigue. I’ve been back to the doctors about this and currently, they aren’t able to give me any answers, in fact, more things were questioned.

As the month drew to a close, I realised that I needed to make some big changes in my life if I was going to move forward, I know I probably sound like a broken record here but I guess the universe keeps showing you the lessons your need to learn until you actually learn them! The main one is about committing stuff to myself and sticking to it, in other words, I MATTER and I need to keep this front and central to everything I do. Next month I’ll explain what I decided and what I’m doing about it.

Until next time, take care and be kind to yourself and all around you xx

February 2024 – Sudden Realisation

One month down and February was a month when I had a sudden realisation, more of that later.

As I said in January’s post as of the 1st February I was going full steam ahead with my side hustle.

The Good Cook’s Cupboard (TGCC) – this will be a food subscription box to educate people about food and cook as well as expand their cupboard with fabulous ingredients to create a good cook’s cupboard! The name is in honour of my parents who for many years ran a deli in Somerset called The Good Cooks Cupboard, it really was an amazing shop, a food emporium of the highest degree, however, it was the mid 90’s and shopping in delis wasn’t really a thing so I know that it was a struggle for my parents and eventually they gave up the business and went into paid employment.

My business will epitomise everything I stand for sharing food and knowledge! And I have so many ideas of what it will be and become in the future, however, I know I need to start slowly and not run before I can walk. This business is very different to Firecracker which is one of the reasons I’ve procrastinated so much with it! Firecracker I am in my comfort zone, I’ve run it for over 12 years and generally it is based all around the things I’m good at, whereas, TGCC will require me to learn things and do things differently and this scares me as it brings back memories of being told I’m not good enough, won’t be successful, blah blah blah!

Firecracker will continue as it is as I have no intentions of letting it go as I still have so much love for what I do in this business and still get the opportunity to positively impact people’s lives, the only time I will stop doing this is when I stop having that positive impact!

So the first thing I committed to was to post on social media daily, I managed 27 days out of 29 which I was really pleased about as consistency is the one thing I struggle with but I know that if I want this business to be a success I need to show up consistently. I’ve asked a very good friend who is also a coach to be my accountability coach and help keep me on track.

As I mentioned in January I took on an extra module at uni, this was offered to me as overtime as it was outside my normal working remit, the sudden realisation I had near the end of February that I make a lot of decisions from a place of fear. When I am offered extra work at the uni, I usually say “yes” before my brain has even had a chance to process it as I’ve conditioned myself to say yes as it means more money in the bank. Being on my own means I am solely responsible for running a house and all the other expenses that come from being an adult!

In the past, I have had financial hardship. Over the last 5 or so years I have managed to get myself into a much more stable position financially, with the work at the uni helping me to do this so when they offer me more I take it without thinking as it seems easy, however, on reflection I do this at the detriment of other things like my new business and start to resent the work, I will do it to the best of my abilities but find it hard to motivate myself to do it.

Anyway, talking it through with my coach, I’ve made some promises to myself that when I am asked to do extra work, I think before I say yes and together we have worked out some criteria to work with to make a decision which aligns with some of my long-term goals and dreams. This might sound like common sense but when you have been in a cycle of lack it is really quite challenging to break out of this cycle.

I know this will take an enormous effort to do as I’m so used to doing things a certain way but know that if I break this cycle of lack then my life will be different!

January 2024 – Here we go again

Early in January, I was debating if I should carry on writing these monthly blog posts, part of me felt like a broken record, saying the same things over and over again, and not really making any progress towards my life goals. However, I thought about the reason I started doing it in the first place back in 2019! Yes, this will be my 5th year of writing these posts. I’ve just read that post and OMG I HAVE come a long way since then!

The main reason I started to write these was mainly selfish really, giving myself time to reflect each month before I career head first into the next without acknowledging events that have happened as well as being a cathartic release of anything that was bugging me.

I mentioned my hesitation of carrying on to a couple of close friends and both said how much they liked reading them and often could relate to what I’d written, so here we are again folks! Strap in, as I feel this year is going to be one hell of a ride.

As always in January, social media of full of “new year, new this, that and the other” and I get it, a new year can feel like a brand new chapter in our lives & an opportunity to do things differently. But this can also be quite hard to read, depending on your mindset it can feel like “What is wrong with my life as it is?!” and have to admit, that during the month as much as I wanted to embrace this newness, I also wanted to stick 2 fingers up to it as well.

The year/month started in a pretty full-on way, I was straight back at the uni on the 2nd January, and that week there was lecturing and inductions to be done. The following week I had been assigned one of our post-graduate diploma modules to teach and to say I was bricking it is an understatement. I still struggle a lot with imposter syndrome as an academic at a university, yes ME an academic, the girl who at 16 was told she was too thick to do A-Levels and should busy themselves with something vocational (I am so glad that careers in schools have improved since the early 90s!!). The night before the first day of lectures, I had a quiet word with myself and decided to be true to who I am and to go with it, so I embraced my inner Firecracker and just delivered the lectures as I would if I was doing in my business, it might not have been everyone preferred type of lecture, however, I did get some really nice comments at the end of the 2nd day so I was pretty proud of myself!!

As the month progressed, I got into a rhythm with the work at the uni and found it less stressful and I started to feel my groove with my own work and focusing on my new side hustle/business. I made a pact with myself that come 1st February 2024, I would stop being so frightened of launching this side hustle (more about this in Feb’s post), it’s been in my head/planning phase for over 2 years! So this is the time to move it from being in my head to making it happen. I’ve invested a fair bit of money in and although that isn’t a deal breaker I do want to see how far it can go! I went to a few networking events and spoke openly about my plans which were received with lots of positive comments and love, which again helped to silence the mind goblins somewhat.

Here is a sneak peek at it though…

December 2023 – Nearly There

Here we are, the last month of the year! December holds mixed emotions for me, in some ways I love it and in others I hate it.

The month started with a visit to Belton House to see their illuminations with a friend, it was a fab way to start December, despite it being quite foggy and quite an experience driving to the venue, in fact, it made it all the more atmospheric.

My annual leave continued into December, I only officially worked 5 days in December which sounds like a blessing but in reality, I probably did 6/7 as there was simply too much to do to fit it into those 5 days and I was stressing that I wouldn’t get everything I needed to get done, done! I got most of it done so feel good going into the new year.

I attended several lovely business networking events, catching up with people I haven’t seen for ages and making some new connections too, which I will follow up on in the new year.

A yearly December event with another friend is to visit the illuminations at Lincoln Castle, we have been for many years now and each year they add a little more making it more magical and helping me get into the Christmas spirit.

I delivered a half-day team development/wellbeing workshop for a team who’ve had a bit of a rough year and the leader wanted to do something nice to bring the team together at the end of the year – it went really well. Still, I was completely spent at the end of it, every workshop I deliver I give every ounce of energy I’ve got to ensure the attendees get the best experience possible.

By the time Christmas came around, I felt pretty rotten with a cold & cough, I put this down to being run down and trying to do too much, no one likes being ill but I generally see it as a blessing as it does mean my body’s immune system can respond to whatever is thrown at it. I spent Christmas on my own, so thankfully, being ill didn’t impact anyone else.

A Boxing Day tradition for me is going for a swim at the local lake I go to and this year was lovely, the sun was out and although the water was cold it was lovely to get in the fresh air, and what made it all the more special is that a friend and her daughter came down to watch me and we had a lovely catch up over coffee afterwards as I warmed up.

So the last week of December was a pretty quiet one, I did have plans to do a few things around the house which did get done eventually but I took it easy.

Before I knew it was New Year’s Eve, in the morning, I went to a friend’s and they cooked me and another friend breakfast which was a nice way to start the day and nice to see other people seeing as I’d spent nearly a week at home unwell. The rest of the day was uneventful and I went to bed at my normal time, I’m not one to stay up until midnight as for me sleep is more important!

And that’s 2023 done, another year gone and overall, it was a pretty good year! Yes, there have been down days but overall, I’ve really enjoyed it! I’ve experienced new things, learnt new lessons and feel ready to move into 2024 with a different outlook!